Let me back up a bit. For those of you who do not know, I am Disabled, on Federal Disability from the SSA and everything. My disabilities for the nosy (actually its natural to wonder) are largely related to my Bi-polar condition and the after effects of my car /dump-truck accident November of 2002. There are also knee and hand problems that come and go. the total list is something like this:
Bi-polar disorder with Hypo-mania and depressive periods possibly rapid cycling
Migraines with moderate to sever disorientation, confusion, sinus pain and often but not always head pain.
Unresolved grief about my father and the way my mother never had a funeral
In addition to this my Girlfriend still_asking
has had a huge bunch of stuff over the last 2 years that I helped her through but thus slowed down my processing of stuff.
So here we are I am on Disability, so is still_asking
, I am living in the house I grew up in, I am in debt for more than I have and I am trying to see a future. In comes my brother who thinks I should not go to my mother on any of my troubles. He wants to know if I can imagine a time that I could be "off medication". He seems to think that 10 years is a long time to see a therapist, hell it to 3 years to actually start getting any thing done, 5 more to get a handle on my family stuff at all, 3 more to come to terms with being bi-polar...you get the idea.
He does not understand the inability to get up and do things like go and do the social services 'thing' for the programs I need to apply for. I would not put it past him to think that still_asking
is the source of my depression. Heh, if not was not for her I would not have made it through the last 2 years, really. If I did not have her to love I am sure that none of 'this
' would seem like bothering with. He probably thinks I am making up or my therapist has placed the memory of my suicidal thoughts when I was 8 yrs old and that the angst over my other brother, Jim, being thrown out of the house and disappearing for a couple years, when I was 5, was no where near as bad as I seem to think. Hell, earlier he was asking what I was depressed about when I was 8 and wanted to die, like depression must be about the events in my life and not about mental trouble.
Here I am trying to make ends meet and I feel like he is questioning my illness
I love my brother, but he is an idiot.