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sushi & christmas
There and Back Again
Stuff I figure you might possibly want to know.
So my brother Rick is a Git... 
3rd-Oct-2005 02:21 am
sushi & christmas
Let me back up a bit. For those of you who do not know, I am Disabled, on Federal Disability from the SSA and everything. My disabilities for the nosy (actually its natural to wonder) are largely related to my Bi-polar condition and the after effects of my car /dump-truck accident November of 2002. There are also knee and hand problems that come and go. the total list is something like this:

Bi-polar disorder with Hypo-mania and depressive periods possibly rapid cycling
Anxiety
Migraines with moderate to sever disorientation, confusion, sinus pain and often but not always head pain.
Nightmares
Sleep trouble
Unresolved grief about my father and the way my mother never had a funeral
Wrist pain
Kneed pain

In addition to this my Girlfriend still_asking has had a huge bunch of stuff over the last 2 years that I helped her through but thus slowed down my processing of stuff.

So here we are I am on Disability, so is still_asking , I am living in the house I grew up in, I am in debt for more than I have and I am trying to see a future. In comes my brother who thinks I should not go to my mother on any of my troubles. He wants to know if I can imagine a time that I could be "off medication". He seems to think that 10 years is a long time to see a therapist, hell it to 3 years to actually start getting any thing done, 5 more to get a handle on my family stuff at all, 3 more to come to terms with being bi-polar...you get the idea.

He does not understand the inability to get up and do things like go and do the social services 'thing' for the programs I need to apply for. I would not put it past him to think that still_asking is the source of my depression. Heh, if not was not for her I would not have made it through the last 2 years, really. If I did not have her to love I am sure that none of 'this' would seem like bothering with. He probably thinks I am making up or my therapist has placed the memory of my suicidal thoughts when I was 8 yrs old and that the angst over my other brother, Jim, being thrown out of the house and disappearing for a couple years, when I was 5, was no where near as bad as I seem to think. Hell, earlier he was asking what I was depressed about when I was 8 and wanted to die, like depression must be about the events in my life and not about mental trouble.

Here I am trying to make ends meet and I feel like he is questioning my illness


I love my brother, but he is an idiot.
Comments 
3rd-Oct-2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
Do you think he was asking more about you, or your therapist's effectiveness?
4th-Oct-2005 12:19 am (UTC)
I think it was about my therapist, as in "after 10 years, john should be cured", etc
4th-Oct-2005 12:34 am (UTC)
I seem to remember this same brother asking some not actualy tactfull questions at Xmass and such - he dosn't understand the basic concept of a chronic mental illness.

For 10 years, with all the medication problems that there have been, Tangent's therapist gets a "keeping the bipolar guy alive award" with the "no hospitalitizations cluster" . And it's not like Tangent isn't bright enough to find knives or work out (over)dosages.
21st-Oct-2005 02:05 am (UTC)
so happy to see an update on your livejournal! (what, it's only three weeks old? yeah, I'm firing on both cylinders as usual...)

plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose...how much of this insensitive doofus do you actually have to see? I mean, are you bracing yourselves for the inevitable thanksgorging nonsense or does he drop by every now and then for tea and cookies and never leave?

as for you, my good friend, your mission is clear - love your woman, listen to your doctor, and let your brother have his experience. hear him out, but for godsake don't take his comments seriously for an instant. maybe he'd like to speak with your doctor, or read up on the subject of mental illness, or otherwise put his "concern" to good use instead of plaguing y'all half to death. he could, oh, I don't know...HELP your ass as opposed to just being a jerk...



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