John Tangent (john_tangent) wrote,
John Tangent

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In a bed at a nursing home, my mother sleep under the influence of pain and anxiety medication. The prognosis is a in few days to a few weeks and she will be gone. But in truth she is already gone from me.

During our life together, she was closed and emotionally distant. She cared for me as well as my siblings, but she had trouble letting me, and I thing the others, in. She could be very kind and bizarrely ruthless. She could be petty and yet at times knew the true value of things.

He early life had been hard. I remember her telling me that she had had different pints of her childhood: Tuberculosis, Scarlet Fever, and food poisoning. Her parents both worked, her father as a trolly driver. Her mother Was a retail clerk as well as either at the same time or late proprietor of a boarding house. Mom did not go to a regular high school, rather it was a 3 year school that taught young lady's to be clerks and secretaries: it was probably 1951 when she graduated, so who knew that a lower class or lower middle class girl would have any other life?

She should have been a mathematician or a programer. But that was not a future for women in the 50's and she had be taught to hate school. She was brilliant and I have always felt that a large part of that went to waste.

If anyone ever questioned it from the things I have said about her, including my father and I calling her Dragon Lady, I loved Mary Lou Kent, maiden name Wheatley. Let none believe other: I could never have been as up set with her about the things I was up set about if I didn't.
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