Apparently, I am a cheap date cuz I am still high from last night. Vicodin is your friend...I think...
So, I have teeth trouble and I was prescribed Vicodin. And I took ONE and a couple houses later I took a little bit of cough medicine (have a cold as well). I am going to sleep WELL.
My question is how much pain and tolerance for Vicodin must house have? I mean I could not trust myself to practice medicine, hell I almost did not write this!
Wow, drive a motorcycle, prescribe medications, inject medications, do lumbar punctures, and not make repeated passes at Dr.Cuddy (that one must really be hard): all on, what 2 or 3 Vicodin every couple hours or 2 clinic patients (which ever come first)? My grandfather kept several bars in business and he could not have had this sort of tolerance.
If he had enough pain to balance out that much Vicodin then they should have left him in the coma, it would have been more humane. Now I need to sleep so tomorrow I can be awake enough to worry about what I said in this post.
- Music:Sleepy music in my head
"Errp, Details want you?", said the small green jedi. "A jedi needs not details, only a lightsaber and a bad-ass special effects team."
Oh so *that* other personality is coming out again. - But you want to know about the fire, what happened as they say.....
Either through a fault in the stove or human error, flame seems to have been present after I turned it off and put a Milk create containing my rice cooker and my Allclad 6 quart pot (my favorite) - These pots are among the honoured dead, as is the refrigerator, the cooktop and some cabinets. And we need a new fire extinguisher.
I smelled burning plastic from the kitchen and came down to find a foot and a half of flames lapping at the fridge. Then reached below the fire and to the left for the extinguisher and found out how messy to use those are. Turned of the Kitchen gas supply line as the knob was molten plastic by then. Then we had the conversation I mentioned in my last post and opened all windows while waiting for BGE to verify that the gas was off.
- Music:Theme from Towering Inferno...
Last Saturday evening around 10:30 pm-
still_asking asked me, yelling down the stairs:
Is the house on fire?
No, but it was.
I am still in shock over it, or rather I am now in shock. We are fine it was a kitchen fire and I had a fire extinguisher - the only uni-tasker in my kitchen.
life suck in a bunch of ways.
As to new movie Ironman, simply, it rocks. *
I mean it has everything! The space ship and the exposure to cosmic rays giving Stark his powers of course. Pepper is ther to become The Invisible Woman, and James Rhodes the human torch...though I would have changed his driver Harold being there to become The Thing, it always seemed a little odd to me: to convenient I guess.
Oh and the kinky sex scenes with Peter Parker, Matt Murdock and Tony are true to the books: Peter is the Top/Dom and Matt and Tony are the subs.
I really recommend you see the movie and I feel I have given no spoilers what so ever :)**
*This statement is true.
**and so is this one.
You know, when I am sick I am often sour in mode and, I hate to admit it, I can be rough on or rude to those that care for me. Needless to say if someone forced my mouth open to make me swallow pills, they would want to count there fingers after and have my stomach pumped to retrieve the ones that were missing.
I am struck by Luke's gentleness and kindness: he is a good soul. I put him on the bed, I take him off, I send her out into the night, I trip over him: he has never been rough or snapping. I wish I was as good as he is.
Ok, So the PLAN (Pathetic, Lame, Assed, Notion) as Selki and I left it is:
8:30 Dinner at Saigon Remembered
- 5857 York Road
Baltimore, MD 21212
10:00 Iron Man
accross the street at The Senator
- Over flow parking is at the Staples down the Street:
5835 York Rd
How does that sound?
- Music:something momentous
As to the Movie still_asking
's migraine may have her out for the count but I think I could do it. And frankly could use some fun :-)
Movie times are 2:00, 4:45, 7:30 & 10:00pm.
Selki are you more for Egyptian pizza that Vietnamese? fizzygeek
how late would it have to be to work?
Anyone we can grab for the foo?
I hope to hear from you soon.
I have been meaning to post this for weeks:
invoke ... I mean call an Iron Man Foo at the Historic Senator Theatre in Baltimore
the Movie will be running at the Senator
, starting May 2nd.
For those who don't know about The Senator
is a privately run Baltimore 70 mm single screen movie house the opened originally in 1939. It is 2 blocks inside the Baltimore City by .
For those concerned about getting around Baltimore City Could take I--695 (the Baltimore Beltway) North to I-83 South, Take the the Northern Park Way exit East and then turn right at York Road. If they wanted to go directly there. There is a good Egyptian Pizza place and a very nice Vietnamese one, too.
However, I think it could a little bit easier if we had dinner in Timonium or maybe near the Hotel that Darkover, or at least meet at the hotel and move from there.
So who is up for dinner and movie? And what are you in mind for dinner?
The large screen Senator Theator in Baltimore
is Showing a 70 mm print(very good picture) of Lawrence of Arabia(1962) this week!
Mad Mike and Dianne are going to the 7:30 pm showing on Saturday Dec 1st. I suggest a Foo at Saigon Remembered
, across the street.
Time for foo? Is 6 PM early enough? We can get tickets before food, just to be sure.
I need a head count soon to make reservations.Please note that this is the "The entire "road-show" presentation, including opening overture and intermission runs approximately 4 hours."
This is what gout is like:
|The Gout, Cartoon by James Gillray (1799).
Found on Wikipedia
The short form of it is that uric Acid, a by product of digesting certain things, get too high in the blood stream and being a crystal, I guess, fall out of solution. It is extremely painful, and lucky me, I have it. For more information you can check out Wikipedia's Gout Entry
On with the cavalcade of suckythings. We needed some one to water and feed the cats and dogs while we were at Dark Over. So still_asking
lent her car to a friend of ours as a favor and in return he would use it while we where at the con as well to do said pet stuff.
While drive still_asking
's cute and reliable Mazda 323, Scoot, said friend was rear ended on I-83 when he is forced to stop the car due traffic gridlock. This is totally not his fault. Poor Scoot was seriously hit by the other car and the insurance has totaled it out. And if we can take the word of the shop that looked at it the uni-body or frame is bent, so fixing it is not a good idea.
So she gets a rental car from the insurance company of the other car's driver, and I lend that friend my Ford Explorer for said pet duty. The con comes and goes with not trouble... wait for it...and the friend arranges to return the car, but finding the back parking pad taken by the rental car he has to exit the ally where these 2 6" high fences obscure the view of the street and the street light is out. So he turns left onto the street and...yah you guessed it, he was hit by an on coming car. Now this accident is a little grayer in fault as visibility is greatly diminished but in the "Free State", as some of the highway signs call Maryland, if you are turning left and in an accident you are legally at fault. Luckily I have Collision on the car so I will get some money from this, less my $500 deductible. And it still drives, but the doors are mashed up a bit so closing them is 'fun'.
It was after I was out of the Hospital that I realized that I had not been prescribed anything for the Gout. They had been too worried about my heart and forgot about my foot.
So that is an update on what sucks in MHO.
Here is the obit with details:
Mary Lou Kent, of Nottingham, Maryland, passed away Sunday, February 11, 2007. She was 71. Family and friends will honor Mary Lou's life at the family owned Evans Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services - Parkville, 8800 Harford Rd. from 3-5 & 7-8:30 PM Wednesday with an 8:30pm service at Evans Funeral Chapel and Cremation Services-Parkville 8800 Harford Road Parkville, MD 21234
You can take I-695 to exit 31A (Harford Road South)
Funeral home is on corner the right at the 1st light (the road is Putty Hill)
Any other questions may be answered at the Funeral homes website is http://www.evansfuneralchapel.com
or calling them at 410-665-9444.
This evening, just after my brother Jim had left for home in Brooklyn, my mother passed away.
My brother Rick and I had just moved the table with the flowers and Photos of my father to a spot where she could see them if she came to for any bit of time and we were trying to tell her that it was OK to pass. I told her that my father was waiting for her probably dressed to go out and playing an organ wondering when she would be ready to go. Her eyes opened slightly, her breath slowed, I went to her side and held her hand and she died. It was as if she had come to a sudden clarity of mind and realized that instead of being trapped in a dyeing body surrounded by he children that were sad for her plight she could be with my dad: the man she loved and respected no matter how pissed off she got at him. This was in true form to her character. Poor Jim had to turn around and come back.
Just today my neighbor was telling me about when he moved into the house next to us in '79. His wife was pregnant and he was stuck away at a job, he worked for sparrows point and the like. My mother seeing her new pregnant neighbor was possibly in need, told her that we had 2 freezers full of food and that they could have anything they needed. She did not care that our new neighbors were one of the few blacks in the neighborhood, she had shed her prejudice of her background and parents. She had gone from riding trolly cars as a girl and not giving it a second thought that the black had to ride in the back to thinking of sharing what ever she had with strangers that had just moved in next door that happened to be black. There are many of her generation that still don't have that. Life is not only about who you are it is about who you were and did you improve: she did. She had may faults, as I have shared over the years, but she had virtues as well.
We official make arrangements tomorrow, but the rough out is 1 day viewing at Evan's in Parkville MD and then cremation on Wednesday.
In a bed at a nursing home, my mother sleep under the influence of pain and anxiety medication. The prognosis is a in few days to a few weeks and she will be gone. But in truth she is already gone from me.
During our life together, she was closed and emotionally distant. She cared for me as well as my siblings, but she had trouble letting me, and I thing the others, in. She could be very kind and bizarrely ruthless. She could be petty and yet at times knew the true value of things.
He early life had been hard. I remember her telling me that she had had different pints of her childhood: Tuberculosis, Scarlet Fever, and food poisoning. Her parents both worked, her father as a trolly driver. Her mother Was a retail clerk as well as either at the same time or late proprietor of a boarding house. Mom did not go to a regular high school, rather it was a 3 year school that taught young lady's to be clerks and secretaries: it was probably 1951 when she graduated, so who knew that a lower class or lower middle class girl would have any other life?
She should have been a mathematician or a programer. But that was not a future for women in the 50's and she had be taught to hate school. She was brilliant and I have always felt that a large part of that went to waste.
If anyone ever questioned it from the things I have said about her, including my father and I calling her Dragon Lady, I loved Mary Lou Kent, maiden name Wheatley. Let none believe other: I could never have been as up set with her about the things I was up set about if I didn't.
It seems that 1.5 eggs, 1 oz of cheese, and 1 cup of tea is in fact not enough to run a person for a day. I proved it.
I was in serious emotionally dilemma to day un till dinner, now I am fine.
After all the attempts of make plans with first nosebeepbear
and then scooterbird
& co. Karen has a severe migraine and I ended up staying with her for most of the evening. I could have gone off and tried to have fun, but I wanted to be with her not somewhere else worrying about her.
So now my B-day is officially over. still_asking
gave me 2 Creme Brulée sets, which which might seem a self serving gift save for the odd fact that she does not like Creme Brulée. Actually I still need to go and pick out the torch at sears: none of these 'cute' hand held butane jobs for me, I want a 1lb propane with auto ignite. The sort of thing Julia* would use if she were still with us instead of on the ethereal plain explaining to Carême* exactly where he where he was wrong :-)
My mother on the other hand tried to let me off the hook for money I owed her, however I reminded he that she owed me the same amount and so we were even. So then she gave me $25 for my birthday, very touching. &*$^*$%^&* Feringi Cardassian Klingon hybrid....I mean my sweet dear sainted mother with cancer.
Don't get me wrong, I am very worried about the cancer, and want her to do well, and love her. It is just that she is so....so....herself.
anyway that was it. Thank you to fizzygeek
, for trying to do something, thank you to flyingwolf
for the Birthday wishes, and thank you to pedropadrao
for his comment.
And thank you to all who meant to say something but did not get the time. At least I know people care, even if plans and timing went a rye.
*For those of you who are the afore mentioned Julia is of course Julia Child and the Carême is the Chef Marie-Antoine Carême, a 'founding father' of french cuisine
Today I am 38. Aside form my SO still_asking
, no one has contacted me as to doing anything today. We may have Dinner with nosebeepbear
if timing works with her class, but no way to know yet. If anyone 'hearing this would like to get together tonight, let me know, please.
To me birthdays are the day days we are reminded to tell people that we are happy they were born. I am trying to believe that at least some of you are. I hate my B-day being in January, but as I explained to still_asking
there is not a good way to change it since Xmas and New Years reminds me that my B-day is coming.
Ok here is the short form, I am working on a longer post, but it has some delicate stuff that I want to be sure of before choosing to post it, if I do. First some data:
- As you know, my mom has cancer.
- As you may not know still_asking and I have had a vile weekend with double servings of depression and sorrow.
- As you may or may not know Tuesday the 16th is my 38th birthday.
- We are poor
So anybody have any ideas of what to do on my birthday? I am a bit desperate here. I am in great need of cheering up and making me feel like living is worth while (whether it is or isn't). So, do any of you want to get together for my birthday, and if so what could we do? Somebody? Anybody?
I feel like no one cares that I am alive. I feel worthless and alone and small and trivial. I know it is not any of your jobs to make me feel better, and that if it were it would be a full time job, but it would be nice if you could help.
Some people upon hearing that their mother had cancer would go on a bender. Others would start a fist fight with the next stranger they saw. Some might combine the two and go to a bar, get plastered. Still more might walk around numb.
Me I went to a 24 hour diner and had dinner: Ice cream float (chocolate icream and Coke Cola), Tuna Nicoise, and cheese cake.
Oh well at least I'm not going to critique the food, today ;-)
The subject about covers it:
My Mother has been diagnosed with lung cancer
She was in the Hospital for Pneumonia, w/ the possibility of TB and she neglected to tell me that cancer was even an option.
As some of you may know, I am a member of the SCA
My SCA Persona, Volrad Tammen (registered Volradus Tammius) now has a livejournal: volrad
. I am going to migrate my SCA stuff over to it for more clarity. Anyway I just figured I would mention it.
I posted a poll about brain eating on the 1st of the year. I recieved 7 responces. If anyone here did not take the poll and is willing to so that I can get more data here is the link to that post of mine Brains post
I am just curious.
I made the foolish mistake to watch a show on the Science Channel, I have no idea why I do this to myself...
Anyway on the episode of What Makes us Human
that I saw, they talked about ASPM gene, which they say is a gene that may related to our brain size.
Further it seems that the Gene went through a change or 'upgrade' about the same time humans started doing agriculture and starting to live in larger more permanent settlements (e.g. towns). This gene started to be replicated in our species quickly and today about:
- 10% of us have 2 of the new version ASPM genes
- 40% have one each
- 50% have just the old
So then they suggest that the reason it was "naturally selected" is that it made us smarter
Morons, if it showed up when we started to live in larger groups it could be related to anti-social behavior, change in health issues due to a new life style (not hunter gatherer), or just plain being annoying!
Smarter, bah, I bet the smart humans have at least one old gene!
I was wondering about whether or not any of you have eaten brains and some details, please select the option that most closely fits you:
I have eaten brains once, but did not like them and shall not do so again.
I have eaten brains, do like them, and most likely shall do so again.
I have eaten brains, and did like them, but shall not do so again.
I have never eaten brains and I would like to try them.
I have never eaten brains and I would not like to try them.
Brains good, more brains please!
Brain? What is Brain?
and I had her mother over for Christmas Dinner. it went very well and all three of us were very happy with the dinner I prepared. still_asking
suggested that there was a LJ community that was set up for sharing menus. I have not been able to find this community. I did find one or two that seemed to be diet based, but I certainly did not serve a diet dinner. So since I could not find this group I am going to put the menu in my LJ. If anyone knows the of a community that would be good for such posts please let me know.
- Bread Enriched with Extra Virgin Olive Oil (a variation of the standard ( 60/2/2/ recipe)Collapse )
- 100 parts
- 60 parts water
- 2 parts yeast
- 2 parts salt
So I took1000 grams of flour, 600 grams of water (600 ml), 20 grams of yeast, and 20 grams of salt. To this I added the same amount of olive oil as salt or yeast, 20 grams. So I guess it was a 60/2/2/2.
- Potage de poireaux et pommes de terre Leak potato soup (inspired by Alton Brown's recipe)
- Asparagus, Gruyere & Olive Quiche ( my recipeCollapse )
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 2 eggs
- 1 to 2 pinches kosher salt (I use 1 an a bit, remember the olive are oil & salt cured )
- 1 pinch of Freshly grated nutmeg
- 4 oz Gruyere cheese, grated or shredded
- 3 1/2 oz Asparagus, lightly steamed and cut into 1 to1 1/2 inch pieces
- 2 1/8 oz Pitted, Oil Cured black Olives, chopped so that each olive is in 2 or 3 pieces
You also need on of the following
- 1 9 inch wide by 1 inch deep frozen pie crust
- 4 4 1/2 inch wide by 1 inch deep frozen pie crust
- Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F.
Make the mixture
- In a nonreactive, stainless steel bowl with spout or glass pitcher, combine the cream and the eggs.
- Whisk until combined thoroughly.
- Add the salt and the nutmeg and whisk again.
Fill the Crust
- Evenly distribute the pie fillings in the pie crust.
- Do not overfill the crust with the filling ingredients.
- Do not pour too much custard into the crust: the eggs will expand upon cooking.
Cook the Quiche
- Bake the pie until it is firm to the touch like set Jell-O, about 45 minutes.
- Cool the pie for at least 15 minutes before slicing.
- Crusted Ham (Alton Brown's recipe)
- Cheese Cake (Jeff Smith's recipe plus a pinch of nutmeg)
Last Friday, I saw a dog making friends with mine through the fences. Concerned that the dog might get hit by a car or such, so I went to it and tried to see the color tag so I could get it back to its home. It was unhappy when I took its color in hand, but it freaked out and started biting when I tried to steady it with the other hand as well. It ran away and then I realized it had drawn blood.
Called Animal Control and the Police. when to the ER and had one of the worst hospital experiences I have ever had (which is saying a lot). The Doctor said I could not have rabies since the dog was tame until I touched it and there has never been a Rabies to human from dog case in Maryland... yah thanks. Next day found the dog, though the owner says it could not be his dog that bit me since his dog was not out that day...Right. dog has shots trough 09 so I should be ok. Oh and it does seem that in 19 years Baltimore county has had only one rabid dog case, who nose for Baltimore City (where I live). But the assumption that the dog was fine was infuriating.
- Music:Avengers Theme
The pragmatic person in me wants to fix some of the stuff I was getting up set about... But How? So I am starting a list of troubles that might help sort out what can be done and maybe some of you can chime in or even arrange to help out. I figure the things that get my allergies and so my migraines in better control woubl have the most positive benefits.( Here is How I see the problems as they stand:Collapse )
I am in pain. My hands hurt, so does my knee, my back my shoulder and my head.
Not all that long ago I had hope. It still flutters in and out, but not to stay, just to taunt me these days. I try to 'plug away' at things. The hand clinic thinks my hand trouble is now in a 'chronic' state, meaning that is not a 'simple' matter of inflammation. my living room is filled with boxes and things that should be in boxes. so is my living room and my kitchen. The allergist says that I am allergic to Dust mites and that I need to cover my pillows and mattress with special covers to avoid them. He does not tell me where to get the money. My 'mattress' is a lumpy futon that has gotten to the point of causing pain. My bed, the slanted one I built to help with my sleep apnea when my hands worked, is actually falling apart. The majority of my friends live far enough a way as not to be able to be called on to help me with any of this. My S.O. has had enough of her energy return to make it possible for her to use it up on the vital medical concerns that she has, thus hopefully insuring her return to health continue improving, though not quickly. ( Most of you probably don't understand the situation I find myself.(this my LJ Cut)Collapse )
So Here is the Deal: still_asking
and I are both on Disability.
We live in Baltimore, in the house I was raised.
We both have limited energy.
We have 2 cats and 2 dogs.
We have a sea of Archive Boxes that hamper our life.
Some of the boxes are from my late father, and so charged with emotion.
Some are fairly benign.
Some have stuff that is poignant for still_asking
We have a basement kitchen from Heck (it was from Hell, but we have worked hard on it.)
Its floor needs to be painted.
Solutions for where stuff should go have to be formed.
Solutions to the dogs and cats getting into the trash have to be devised.
The shed needs to be emptied.
Other stuff also needs to be done.
In short we need help. If anyone reading this thinks that they could give us a hand in finding our way out of this quagmire of a house, please comment to this post.
Let me back up a bit. For those of you who do not know, I am Disabled, on Federal Disability from the SSA and everything. My disabilities for the nosy (actually its natural to wonder) are largely related to my Bi-polar condition and the after effects of my car /dump-truck accident November of 2002. There are also knee and hand problems that come and go. the total list is something like this:
Bi-polar disorder with Hypo-mania and depressive periods possibly rapid cycling
Migraines with moderate to sever disorientation, confusion, sinus pain and often but not always head pain.
Unresolved grief about my father and the way my mother never had a funeral
In addition to this my Girlfriend still_asking
has had a huge bunch of stuff over the last 2 years that I helped her through but thus slowed down my processing of stuff.
So here we are I am on Disability, so is still_asking
, I am living in the house I grew up in, I am in debt for more than I have and I am trying to see a future. In comes my brother who thinks I should not go to my mother on any of my troubles. He wants to know if I can imagine a time that I could be "off medication". He seems to think that 10 years is a long time to see a therapist, hell it to 3 years to actually start getting any thing done, 5 more to get a handle on my family stuff at all, 3 more to come to terms with being bi-polar...you get the idea.
He does not understand the inability to get up and do things like go and do the social services 'thing' for the programs I need to apply for. I would not put it past him to think that still_asking
is the source of my depression. Heh, if not was not for her I would not have made it through the last 2 years, really. If I did not have her to love I am sure that none of 'this
' would seem like bothering with. He probably thinks I am making up or my therapist has placed the memory of my suicidal thoughts when I was 8 yrs old and that the angst over my other brother, Jim, being thrown out of the house and disappearing for a couple years, when I was 5, was no where near as bad as I seem to think. Hell, earlier he was asking what I was depressed about when I was 8 and wanted to die, like depression must be about the events in my life and not about mental trouble.
Here I am trying to make ends meet and I feel like he is questioning my illness
I love my brother, but he is an idiot.
- Music:End of Good Eats theme
I was trying to clarify the whole Foo thing when LJ 'decided' to die. Oh well, I hope most of you got the right info.Former Subject: Attention Possible Birthday Foo Attendees
There may be some confusion about the Foo.
The Foo is slotted for 2PM in Rockville at Green Fields
. The reasons behind this are:
Pooh is supposed to be at gaming later that evening. Thus could not go to the Malibu Grill at 4 pm (nor 3:30 pm),
If we are eating at any significant time earlier than 4 PM then we would have to go to Green Fields
in Rockville anyhow to get the full menu of meats.
I've got to stick with the 2 pm time because by now, 6 or more people are planning on meeting at the restaurant then.
We'll be there for a couple hours, so you can show up 'late' if you want.
Really quickly, I want to to a Foo at the Fountain of meat in Va on Sat 1/15/5. Some time in the after noon.
What do you all think?
EDIT: I have made this post public so that friends not on my friends list will be able to see it and thus attend.
So better late than...you know.
Here is my X-Mas wish list.
There are ( X-Mas Wish List directions,Collapse )
if you want to do it too.
What I want for Christmas, by John Tangent (SCAKA Hera Volrad Tammen), Age 35.
Dear Santas* I realize you are busy and all so I will try to make this simple
The wishes are not in order.
1) A Mac G5, Imac, or any other Mac that is more useful than the beige G3 I have presently.
2) A new Palm, if I had the choice of any it would be a Tungsten™ T5, but really any palm of reasonably new vintage would be good.
3) A working Electric Kiln so I can have a studio in the new year.
4) A working Propane Kiln.
5) A set of stainless steel pots and pans from a good company like All Clad or Cuisinart. Or a couple of said items like a small frying pan and a small pot.
6) A Green Lantern Ring with Recharging Battery.
7) DVD burner
8) Chocolate from Lindts
or Leonidas chocolate
9) Surpises, good ones
At some point in the now dark and distant past, the people living on 34th street
, in the neighborhood Hamden of Baltimore City, decided that if a few Christmas light was a good thing then WAY TOO MANY LIGHTS was a great thing. So now every December there are LIGHTS and Trains sets and santa in helicopters, multiple grinches, and, of course, the traditional Hubcap X-mas Tree... and more.
So since still_asking
and I live in Baltimore we would like to go to this block of illumination with friends. We want to do this tomorrow night (Wed Dec 22) to see this testament to "If you light it they will come", the exact time has some flex in it but definitely after dark, preferably late enough that I can get some nap time before it.
Dinner would also be cool, or coffee, etc.
So what do you think?
- Music:The Peanuts X-mas Music
So figuring out your past is supposed to help you deal with the trigger that affect you present, right?
So realizing that the reason I can't function very well in the morning hours of 7 to 10 is due to the fact that for 12 years I would leave the, roughly speaking, safe home environment to go to the emotionally abusive public school where I was hated and treated with extreme reproach, disdain, hatred, and worse will help me, right? I mean now I can just act as if it never happened, right? Or maybe I can just never deal with mornings again...yah that'll work.
Yep, I would wake up in the morning, from the only true peace I knew, sleep. I would be managed by my mother and sent to school where it would usually take till about 10 am to get over the experience and for the other 'students' to calm down and leave me, somewhat, alone.
I find this 'break through' to be rather anti-climatic.
It is sad that I count the fact that, to the best of my knowledge, my house has not had a flood in 7 days. I hate floods. Tuesday late week the laundry tub had the plug in it. Wednesday it turns out that the water exhaust house had been knocked loose during the previous night clean up. both cases the water traveled past a wall into the Kitchen.
That is what I get for doing laundry.
For the record: I hate depression, illness, stokes, and family members being stupid.
My sister has been in the hospital for Carotid Artery clearing, has had a stoke during her stay, changed hospitals once and now is at my moms home.
Mom told me she was in the hospital after she was there for several days and told me only she and my sisters husband was allowed to visit. a couple days later I checked on this and it turns out that I could visit.
Several days, maybe a week, go by and I decide to visit and I find out she has been moved to the 2nd hospital days before. I get over the lack of communication and decide to visit and am told that "today would be bad" as it is my sister's husbands B-day and so he would be at the hospital.
Another week or so goes by, I decide to visit:
I call the Hospital to check on visitor hours and I am told she is not in the roster.
I call my mom: no answer.
I call my brother and get his wife, I find out that my sister is now at my mom's home ... oh and my niece is pregnant!
my family does not have communication issues...I believe the subscription has expired and we owe the publisher money.
- Music:Hawian X-mas music
Last week, still_asking
and I were in a mall in Baltimore City. It was being a good day, we had gotten a puppy and a Kitten and it was looking like they were being accepted by the cat in residence, castor_the_cat
. Karen had decided to buy me flowers, something wonderful that she does if she can. I was in a good mode and was happily choosing flowers.
Then al of the sudden, while we stared at the flowers some one poked his head between us and yellow "boo". We bother reacted with extreme shock, Karen screamed and I don't know if I yelled out or just at the jerk. But then I realize I know him, It was fixx
I want to stop right now and make sure that all who read this know a couple points of data:
1) I and disabled due to a severe Bi-Polar condition and still having trouble moving through the grief of my fathers death in June of '03.
2) Karen has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition that has the person stressed so badly that they can not always find the strength to go out, let alone get out and be in a good enough mode to think of buying some on spontaneous flowers.
has known of Karen's condition for at least a year.
4) Karen and I have had a very rocky and negative history with him.
So know I return to the moment that fixx
ruined a wonderful moment. After we realized who it was we yelled at him and he left to rejoin his companion where they both laughed at the 'prank'.
I wont say who his companion was at this time, but I will say that she is a person with a long history with similar disorders as Karen and I have and she knows of our conditions. She had no excuse for finding this funny. She should think about it the next time she can't leave her house cause she is being so crippled with her own disorders that she can trust that she would be safe outside.
At this point in the story fixx
owes me a good day. After he and his companion went into the Pharmacy laughing at us I went in after him to tell him how stupid, mean, cruel, and hurtful he was, all I could do was to tell him that he was a shit head for doing that to a person with PTSD. He claimed that he did not know she had PTSD and then said he did not trust me, called for security and accused me of being violent, said I was a maniac. I finally left him. fixx
is a stupid jerk that has been pushing his luck for a while but this is the last straw. fixx
if you read this leave me alone. I am doing my best no the wish ill on you, but I want you to stay away from me. You are mean, petty, vile, rude, vulgar, and I want to never see, hear, or think of you again.
- Music:Various Punk Rock off net radio
So Some people I know are thinking of setting up a RPG and one of the thoughts is to base it on Mystery Men. this is a response to this interest
As Steve said once: "It's Easy to fight Crime when bullets bounce of your chest, it means something when all you have is a shovel". If I GM a Mystery Men (MM) game, It is going to be equally focused on Low Powered / No Powered heros and Bizarre Powers. I come from a Vampyre / Champions recent past. I don't believe that the GM should try to kill their player's characters, but they are not protected from harm either.
The game as I see it:
Champion City has its Decent, strong, ethical, and true: Captain Amazing. But some cities aren't so lucky. For such a city it must trudge through day after day with what ever help comes its way, from who ever will help: people like Poodle Boy, Slow Thinker, Pool Shark and host of other unlikely heros that try to save the day as much as they can and still make it to work in the morning.
Most of the characters are low paid in the 'normal world' and so have little to money of 'fancy toys' like bullets proof vests and Costumes that aren't made from long underwear and Halloween stuff from Good Will, let alone martial arts training.
The Police think you are fools and nuts. the Criminals think you are jokes. But they are wrong, you are the only hope for a city full of crime.
Panic attack is a bad label for these things. I know this not only because I listen to my best friend when she talks about hers; yesterday I had a one of my very own.
They are horrible, scary, and demoralizing. Anyone who thinks that a panic attack is just getting up set or that you can 'get past it' is a fool. Yes you in the second row, you are a fool.
I have anger in my heart that would make most wither and die. this weekend someone I know asked me what Karen and I were going do with our house 'when we're done' working on it. She must have missed the whole tangent's emotional / mental health is such that he is applying for disability & the whole the house is in a state that makes living there almost impossible. Oh course I don't know why I expected more.
- Mood:cynical, crippled, distressed, and gloomy
- Music:Standing-The Cast Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer-Once More, With Feeling
So today castor_the_cat
knocked over mug that shatered. That was bad, but it was cheap mug that we have 5 more of (of course I loved it :-( ). I went up to Karen she was feeling less than good. The day looked bad, but I was wrong I was to be a horrible day.
I went back down to sweep up the shards...in bare feet...I stumbled onto a piece of the mug. This lacerated the bottom of my food with a naste and fairly deep cut. So we needed to go to the ER. However, my car (the stick shift) was parked blocking karens car (the automatic) in the back yard and she does not drive stick. So we called all of our friends in Baltimore to see if we could get a ride or if trhey could help juggle cars.
We finally get my mom to drive us to the hospital. At the hospital, the RN I got was inept and was unable to communicate. At one point she told me not to scream from her painful handling of my foot because, and I quote, "It might scare the othe Patients". Now considering her work on me, I think the other patients should be scared: scared of getting her as their RN. Finally an MD finished up the exam and desided NOT to stitch my foot.
And will I am mostly agreeing with the idea that my foot will heel itself, but it seems we could have bandaged it up and not gone to the ER! Finally we take cabs first to eat our first and only meal of the day and fially home where I am.
A Poem from Dorthy Parker that Karen gave me:
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
As to my B-day tomorrow, Sarah Elkins, Karen and I thinking of getting together for my birthday: anyone else interested in doing something?
- Music:Zig Zaggity Woop Woop Pt. 2-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-Save My Soul
Karen had a really good idea in trying Bally's. This evening I used the hot tub, swam some, and walked 8 laps. leaving Bally's I felt better this evening than I have in months. Of course now, 5 1/2 hours latter, I can feel the pains in my body again, but even a few hours of peace is wonderous.
On a different note, I am trying out Xjournal and iJournal. So far:
Xjournal is better of for making sure the image I am using is the right one but uses to short a title of songs when you have it insert the music: it only lists the name and not the source (e.g. album) and has the users pass word saved no matter what.
iJournal does not show the image use but does list the name in a drop down box. It has the password saved if you check the box for it and it lists the full music data.
So iJournal is the winner so far.
Jan 14th already?!? 2 days to my Birthday. I feel old, and am going to bed.
But before I go i want to say that it is not really enough to list one song as the "current music" . For example: I started with Rest In Peace-The Cast Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer-Once More, With Feeling, but I have now heard most of the Buffy musical Sound Track and am now listening to Save My Soul-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-Save My Soul
Now I will really go to bed, really...maybe....
- Music:Rest In Peace-The Cast Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer-Once More, With Feeling
So as you may or may not know my B-day is Friday. Half of my friends will be in Boston, like usual, for Arisia, and I have no firm plans on what to do in celebration. I would love to get together with those of my friends still in the 'metro area' and have dinner and maybe do something fun. So if you have an idea of what to do please comment.
Karen and I, in an interest to keep from atrophying, got a joint membership to Bally's. After investing in this out of the pathetic money the government is giving me to survive on (less that $200 a month plus food stamps for me) we decided to go to the Pool which Geoff (the Bally's sales guy) said closed about half an hour before the rest of the club.
We get there at 9:30 pm
The club closes at 11 pm
thus the pool will be open for about an hour...right?
NO! it closes at 9:30! I found Geoff and he claimed to have said that it closes "half an hour to an hour". Well that is still not a hour and a half! He says he will 'do anything' he 'can' to make it up to us. I will have a 'talk' with and the him and the manager at Bally's tomorrow.
this is a time travel test
- Music:Space Oddity _ Bowie